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Obama Is Way Cooler Than Romney.

I would like to make it clear that I think the Presidential race is a bunch of crap, and that both candidates say whatever they think the base of their party wants/needs to hear. I imagine the heads of both the Democratic and Republican parties have some secret conference every year in Clearwater Beach, Florida where they just get drunk, do a bunch of blow, and then have some quick meetings to discuss what each party will have as a platform.

“OK, so we will still be pro-choice, for healthcare reform, and we will also pretend like we care about sweeping social reform for those less fortunate even though we ourselves are rich”

“Here, here!, Another round of Jager-bombs!”

“Alright then it looks like we will be for less gun laws, weak regulations and tax laws for the corporations, and don’t worry all my wealthy brothers and sisters, even those across the aisle, we will make sure the loopholes are in place so we stay rich.”

Crowd erupts into applause.

“Karl Rove just snorted a huge rail! He approves!”

So then it is left up to the moderates, the registered independents, and the undecided to make their decision. They are really the ones that swing the election. And who do they vote for? Some of them read the articles, and the op-ed pieces, and watch the news, and they make an “informed” decision. But most of them, they vote for the candidate that is the coolest. Subconsciously America always is striving to be the coolest in the room.

Think back to Ronald Reagan, Clinton, Bush (W.) and now to Obama; the candidate that wins is the one that is cooler, more hip, the one that you would rather “hang out” with. Of course we are grading on a scale. George H. W. Bush seems pretty dull, but compare him to Michael Dukakis and it’s not even close; Bush senior is George Clinton compared to that dud.

Take a look at these two guys Reagan vs Carter. Just based on image alone, who seems like they might be a little more fun to rope a steer with, and then kick back with a sarsaparilla and swap strip club stories. What about Mondale? He looks like he needs help removing his soiled adult diapers.

We are a country of materialism. Image is everything. That is who we reward, the people that look the best or the coolest. We don’t care how smart you are, if we did Stephen Hawking would have been the first three term President. Why do you think the Kardashians are so famous, because of their talent?

Remember ‘ol Bubba?

Even black people thought Clinton was cool! I mean who was going to beat Bill Clinton? Certainly not this fuddy duddy:

I am not here to argue whether or not George W. Bush was a good President, because he wasn’t. But honestly, who would you rather party with? Gore? Kerry? Or this guy?!

So say what you want about Obama, or let me know how much better off you were four years ago, or voice your opinion about healthcare. The fact remains that Obama is waaaaaaay cooler than Romney, and that is who wins the election. After Romney loses, the Republicans need to regroup and find someone fun that the people can relate to, someone that looks good in sunglasses. Because if we have to have some liar or misguided idealist represent our country for the next four years, we might as well look cool doing it.