Turned 39 recently. I just realized that I am now as old as the people that I think look old to me. I’m judging other people when I should be judging myself.
“Look at that older guy, gray in his beard, shirt tucked into some khakis with a pair of polished dress shoes, giving that guy the thumbs up sign, listening to Steely Dan and digging it, trying to still look young and hip.” Then I realize ‘Ohh, that’s what I look like!’ I have all the physical traits of a guy aging but I’m still trying to look younger. Trying to dress hip and younger, hair spiked up. I should be wearing Docker’s with my shirt tucked in, hair parted, but instead I am holding on to some fantasy that I am still relevant as a part of the youthful population. I now realize that I am at the age where I look old to people in their 20’s. Son of a bitch! And I still don’t have my shit together. I am a comedian, which means I am almost unemployed. I have four cats, which turns out is not as cool as I originally thought it was; it’s kind of like reverse cat lady ‘I don’t need a family as long as I’ve got my kitties!’.
I need to accept the fact that death has begun its approach. Next year I will be 40. People tell me that age is only a number. I agree it is number…but it is a number that tells you when you are going to die. Might want to pay attention to that one. “E” is only a letter, but it is a letter that let’s you know you are about to run out of gas, also important if you are trying to go somewhere.
Place whatever importance you feel on numbers and letters, I’m off to the gym to try and stall the arrival time of my mortality. I feel older and none the wiser.
Have a wonderful day!